December 5th, 2009 by admin

If she’s not too busy cutting out Hot Topic coupons or wishing the Matrix was real, she’s spending her time judging anyone that doesn’t dress just like her and then she judges whoever is dressed just like her. Blue hair’s boyfriend of the week would kick your ass if you try to defend yourself from her bullshit, so better to keep you’re insults to yourself unless you want his ridiculously overpriced boot up your ass. It wouldn’t matter anyway, just start talking about how great the movie The Crow was and he’ll want to sword fight dicks in no time.

Depression + Anger = Pay too much for stupid looking clothes.

Never understood the need to look so different when you’re angry at your parents for “screwing” your life up. We all get it! Daddy wouldn’t buy you that BMW like all the other girls got in high school so you feel the need to dye your hair, get a ton of jewelry inserted into interesting areas and laugh at death scenes in emotional movies. Why not do what African Americans do and just give up on life. Get yourself a “gat”, get on welfare, and sell drugs to upper middle class white kids in the local high schools. It’s better than living in your parents basement. Goths like this girl just decided one day the best thing they could do is be as pale as possible and wear clothes that would prevent you from getting a job almost anywhere. African Americans are so successful at what they do even dumb ass rednecks that hate black people listen to rap. You don’t hear Billy-Bob driving his Toyota truck listening to The Cure carrying a black lunch box. Anytime you describe something as “industrial” it’s going to suck.

I’m sure if you were on a date or whatever you’d like to call it with this girl the first measuring stick of self worth she’d use would be how many tats and piercings she had. Although it’s very interesting to see the creative places that her and every other goth girl has decided to place them, the “individuality” all goth people feel it’s important to express by listening to the same music, dressing the same way as each other, and adopting the same personalities, gets old fast. She’ll try so hard to be deep and interesting but if you spent a day with her you’d be bored out of your mind. After waking up at the break of 3pm smelling like an ash tray and Ted Kennedy’s breathe. You’d find yourself in a debate of why religion is soooo stupid and then watch her text one of her 2 girlfriends and 40 to 500 other guys until one of Vampire shows comes on. Then when the Sun goes down you’ll end up at a bar where everything is sticky and there are posters all over the walls of local death metal bands with names like Fetus Wound or Blood Infection. She’ll bring you over to her strange group of socially backward friends that will do nothing but complain about why people are religious even though half of them believe in witchcraft, and you’ll be rejected by a group of people that spend a good chunk of their time complaining that they aren’t accept by normal people. Then after that social awkwardness you can enjoy ending the evening or early morning with her lying about how she’s a suicide girl about  the sametime she takes the mystery drugs  some guy with the very original handle of Morpheus gives her.

You have to meet an impossible criteria based on strange set of bullshit beliefs to just to hang out with her. Even though she lathers on more makeup than a 12 year old on Stickam to look as pale as she does. If you have skin that’s one shade darker than milk how dare you stand in her majesty’s presence. You need to like all the crappy bands she likes and basically not get upset when she goes out and gets so wasted and starts letting middle aged guys feel her up. How dare you not accept her for who she is!