August 15th, 2009 by Spencer

“Double, double toil and trouble, fire burn, and cauldron bubble”

Famous words there from the witches in Shakespear’s Macbeth… or as the woman above would say,
“fuck this I need a smoke”

I don’t know exactly what’s on this bitch’s agenda.  I know the following items are not:

- Expanding the frontiers of human knowledge by developing a new theory on spacetime.
- Cleaning her teeth

As for the shiny face…  When I was 16 my Dad explained how women get a shiny face:

“Women get shiny faces from giving too many blowjobs.  They suck away and their cheeks repeatedly rub across the bottom of a guy’s shiny leather jacket and that’s how they wind up with a shiny face.”

I was shocked by his words.  It wasn’t what I expected to hear at Mom’s funeral.
It was an educational eulogy speech, I’ll give him that.

Thinking back, my Uncle Peter and his friend Derek used to have very shiny faces.  Mostly when they came out of the toolshed after “mending stuff”.  One day, when we were having a barbecue, a neighbour shouted “you guys should join the YMCA”.
Mom shouted back “I’ll burn your fucking house down nigger fuck”.  It was meaningless grown-up speak to me, aged 6, as I played in my sandbox.

But years later, you have that Columbo-like moment of adult realization where you stop and think…
So that’s why Mom asked me to throw the dogshit over the fence.