I’m in a band

Really?  That’s interesting because nobody gives a fuck.

Chances are, you sound shit, you can’t play and most of your time wasted “jamming” is spent mutually congratulating the other band members on imaginary talent or discussing the imaginary day you’re so big you go on a world tour.

Well bitch… I’d love to stay and chat but I actually have to go and talk to some grown-ups so if you could finish bagging my groceries that’d be fucking great.