November 2nd, 2009 by Spencer
This girl posted the pic you see above to attract men – I shit you not.
Like we’ve all suddenly become fans of the twisted-hateface look.
Staring at you like you just ass-raped her daughter and sent her the PornoTube links, she manages an expression of disgust I normally reserve for Nazi war crimes or the music of James Blunt.
If that’s how she looks when she’s happy, I’d hate to be the one to leave a few stray drops on her toilet seat.
Her scrawny body is not so much the product of a healthy lifestyle, more the exhausting consequence of being angry 24-7. Now she’s inviting one lucky guy to share in her world of misery and despair. Forgive us if we don’t all line up…
Having no friends means she always has to take her own pic. If someone had been around to help her, that poisonous bitch-scowl would never have been allowed to go public. Even the dumbest assistant would have pulled it with editorial vigil instead of unleashing it on innocent men, women and children.
Her life revolves around her wardrobe which is full of freakish oddities. This is what happens when all your shopping sprees happen alone – there’s nobody to warn you that maybe those sparkley pants you’re about to buy actually make you look like a brain injury patient who had their style cortex removed. Then there’s her lingo… clutching to remnants of the past, her favourite phrases are “As If!” and “phat” – both things her friends used to say in the 1990s, the last time they spoke.
These reclusive traits have left her trapped in a vicious circle. What she really needs to put a smile back on her dial is rough sex. But, as long as she’s going around looking at every man like he just took a dump in her cornflakes it won’t happen. That makes her more angry which drives her even further away from getting what she needs.
It’s unfortunate but she really could sell herself a bit better – I’ve seen happier faces at funerals.
October 29th, 2009 by Spencer
Something different for you today on GirlLooksLikeABitch: A bit of sophistication.
Here we’ve got beauty combined with intelligence…
and slick looks blended with round but shapely curves.
Make no mistake, when you’re out and about with this little charmer all your friends will stop and stare for the right reasons. Behind your back they will be saying, “I want that sexy bitch for myself”
But enough about the Nokia E71, let’s talk about the dirty piece of scaggy bitchmeat holding it up to the mirror to photograph her pig-ugly self. Yes, she decided to snap a quick profile pic on the way out of the bathroom…
After squeezing out a monster turd and changing her tampon this bitch clearly believes she’s at her visual peak.
Her facial muscles appear numbed by the evil stench she just manufactured, hardly surprising when you consider the mangled blob of guts she has in place of where a normal girl’s body would be.
Instead of having discernable features like breasts and a waistline, she has one giant burger-filled skin-sack of cholesterol from which only bad things can ever emerge. I feel really sorry for the next bitch to walk in…
Who wants to breathe the pungent death-scent lurking around that cubicle?
Don’t bother holding your phone up bitch, pretending like you’re only in here on some kind of special bathroom photoshoot. We all know you did it. Admit that you stink.
August 22nd, 2009 by admin
Years of walking up and down wobbly non-attached stairs to a mobile home have chiseled the look that you see in that picture. I’m sure her mother was proud when she made it 17 without having her first kid. That’s 2 years older than when she gave birth to her. I’m sure the baby’s name is something like Chastity or Rhett. It’s ok though, the father sends $50 a week and picks her up in his tricked out 80′s model Buick Regal. They go cruising on Friday nights between the local mall and Pizza Hut. He’s aspiring to either become a rapper or start his own recording studio. He’s even drawn out his own logo. It’s a pot leaf with two 9mm pistols over the top. He’s got a “cousin” in the business that’s going to help get him started.
Conversation with this bitch is limited to bitching about how the other teen mothers in the trailer park shouldn’t be “runnin they mouth”, and do you know where to get any weed. Due to a low self esteem and small frame of reference, jokes are always taken as insults. Unless the jokes are about weed, then you might get a smirk. It’s difficult to navigate the world of drugs and interracial dating for the sole purpose to piss off your parents AND try to make good grades while work a real job. Well heck work any job. I guess with a face like that you can write off sales or customer service. Maybe that victim attitude she carries around will land her a nice welfare check until junior there drops out of high school. The main reason being the other kids and teachers don’t get him and math is too hard.