December 8th, 2009 by Spencer

I have a tattoo of Google’s Android Operating System logo on my wrist.

Of course, when we encounter such an edgy, intellectual lady on this site we like to ask the obvious question everyone’s wondering:  Does she give good head?

She knows how to make your windows boot quick, but when it comes to interfacing with your underpant champion, chances are she will slobber all over your junk like an old lady sucking on badly fitting dentures.

Why?  Because that’s the problem when you prefer machines to people.  Flowchart diagrams and TPS reports are a piece of cake but physical activities are awkward and clumsy.  It’s the same reason nobody wants a brainiac on their sports team.  Take Stephen Hawking for example – widely regarded as one of the most brilliant scientific minds alive but can he beat me at basketball?  No.  …To be fair, Professor Hawking – who has motor neurone disease, is so physically disabled he can’t wipe his own ass (or at least that’s what he’s been telling his sexy nurses for the last 25 years).  But if you spoke like Speak and Spell and your only physical contact with the opposite sex was having dribbled, mashed banana wiped from your chin every day you’d probably want to seize every intimate moment you could too.

The point is, the cleverer you are, the less physically gifted you are.  So if this hacker chick did drop to her knees and attempt to do the deed you should definitely expect frustration along the way…  For example, just as you’re finally getting somewhere she’d keep stopping to ask “Am I doing it right?”

In that situation, you need to speak the girl’s own hacker lingo to keep her focussed on the task while you complete your brute force attack on her tonsils.  Explain to her that you are the task manager and you have administrator access to her mouth.  Then, when the time is right, upload your genetic blueprint into her face.