August 30th, 2009 by Spencer

Let’s talk about me, me, me.

This bitch has probably had sex with most of the supervisors in the call center where she works, yet no amount of sexual favors seems to bring that promotion.  That’s because nobody told her “you’re just another disposable fuck-toy destined to be replaced by hot 20-something talent as soon as you pass your freshness date”.
She’s taken in so much supervisor DNA over the years that when she eventually gives birth, the baby will be able to offer you a full refund when it throws up on your shoulder.

Frustrated with life and conscious that she’s no longer in her 20s she resorts to emulating the looks of younger women.  That’s why we see the characteristic eye covered by hair and star tattoo.  It’s classic “I’m 33 wishing I was 23″.

Outside of work this bitch is anxious if the topic of conversation veers away from herself, preferring to discuss:

- A name-dropped list of big people and ‘connections’.
- Dangerous stories about what happens to anyone who fucks with her
- Excuses as to why she is not more successful in life

Never passing up an opportunity to check herself out in the mirror/shiny surfaces this bitch fails to realize that youthful fashion statements and black and white photography can only wind the clock back for so long.

Next time you’re asked for your customer account details, spare a thought for the call center bitch trying to blow her way to the top.  She’ll still be answering the phones when she’s 45 and, to reward this dedication they’ll probably move her job to India.  That’s ok though, remember – this bitch knows people.  If anyone tries to move her job they will be fucking with the wrong people.
I’m sure the CEO of her company will be watching his back every day from that beach house in The Seychelles…