January 20th, 2010 by Spencer

Some people like to do yoga naked from the waste down…  It’s called mental illness.

Don’t know about you, but like this bitch, I like to really feel the breeze through my ass crack when I’m meditating, although I doubt her copy of “Spirituality For Dummies” said anything about taking pants off.

Living with a crazy bitch is never easy.  Her husband left her in 2003 for a normal woman who will put out without having to wait for the astrological go ahead from Mercury and Uranus.

Being dumped came as a shock – the tarot didn’t mention it, so these days she steers clear of romantic involvement… although she does flick her bean to a Fox News anchor who has convinced her that global warming is fraud.

She also has an 11 year old son who she embarrasses by saying stuff in front of his friends like “urine is good for the skin” and “did you remember to take your worm medicine?”.

Her erratic thinking is encouraged by her friends who produce dizzy online tutorials or “random yoga-is-yummy videos” as they are known on the streets of America:

Hey wake up, it’s finished.  This clip proves what we’ve been saying for years:
It IS possible to move like a yoga jedi, learn innovative ways to tie your church scarf AND lube up a zucchini all in under 5 minutes…  So yeah, a big fuck you to all the doubters.

January 14th, 2010 by admin

That smile doesn’t cover up the fact that this bitch has Play-Doh machine hair.

When she’s not pretending that she reads books by wearing glasses, she’s busy passive aggressively getting back at all the boys that broke her heart by her sending pictures of her private areas to kids that were born in the 90’s. You know, kids that don’t know what Max Headroom is or the fact that tapes have two sides.  You can just tell by her Woody Allen looks she’s a real bitch. She’s the kind of girl that will feed you bullshit like anal sex is ok because it isn’t real sex or one day she’ll be on American Idol even though she’s real nasally. I just wonder where you could squeeze her to get a star shaped coiler to slide out her STD hole?

Her parents wasted twenty something thousand dollars on her communications degree. She’s still a hostess at the local Applebee’s do to her inability to pass a drug test and is the 46 year old manager’s live in girlfriend. He makes the insurance payments on her Geo Tracker in exchange for the sex he never got from his ex-wife. It’s no problem though because his ex-wife has already found a daddy for their kids and  he just got back from Afghanistan.